Pain

I have felt the pain of being in love.  The pain which overbears the love you feel.  The pain which screams out to me all day and night.  I cry myself to sleep, I cry on my way to work and on my way home, only where no one can see or hear me.  I have felt this pain before, I have been depressed and ready to die as before, but it had gone away, the love of my life had taken away my pain that I had as a teenager, he showed me that he loved me where no one in my life ever had, but just as quick as he healed my heart he too broke it and brought all the pain back. This time it is worse, this time I know there is no love for me, maybe no one can ever love me, maybe it just isn’t meant to be.  I want the Lord to take me now to save me from the heartache which is slowly killing me anyways.  I want all the people who lie, cheat and decieve their loved ones to feel the pain they have caused them.  I want my husband to feel the pain his lies, cheating, and deciet has caused me. I want him to suffer because he is the one who did all the wrong, not me, but I am the one who pays for it daily.  Daily I pray for the Lord to save me to take me out of this place to make the hurt go away.  No one loves me, no one knows the meaning of love anymore, no one cares about anyone or loves anyone but themselves anymore.  I have made mistakes. I have hurt others as they have hurt me, but I’m done. DO YOU HEAR ME LORD I’M DONE, I DON’T WANT TO CRY ANYMORE, I DON’T THE PAIN. I hate the life I have been given I hate the parents who did not care, I hate the fact that the only people who did ever love me as a child are gone, all but my grandpa, I hate it that you took my grandma after she fought so hard against cancer for almost 10 years, I hate the fact that she was a good christian woman but she had to suffer through so much, why couldn’t You taken her quietly. Why did You take away all the things she loved before dying.  She loved to walk, swim, and spend time with me and my cousin, but towards the end she couldn’t do any of those things, she just sat in that chair and awaited death.
I’m done with this world with this life I just want to die, please come get me……………………………………
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: